Never Ask Chowder
by katz-fan
Summary: Never Ask Chowder is a story were YOU send in dares for all the characters. Mostly, the characters from my other story Never Meet Chowder. Never Ask Chowder is full of comedy, comedy, and your favorite, comedy! So send in dares! :
1. Chapter 1

**Never Ask Chowder**

Haley: Hey yall'! Welcome to Never Ask Chowder! I would've named it Ask Chowder because you give the characters dares but this story has the same characters as my other story Never Meet Chowder.

Nathalie: *yells from other room* Can I come in yet?!

Haley: Yes!

Nathalie: *walks in* Thank you. Anyway, you guys gotta check out Never Meet Chowder. Mostly cause' you'll know all the characters and it'll be easier to send dares for the right characters. Though, we'd be happy to send in new characters. As long as they're from Chowder.

Haley: Stop advertising! We need to go on with the chapter! Everything is getting boring! Boring alert! Boring alert!

Nathalie: Ok, ok… Wait, hey! I'm not boring!

Haley: Anywho… Where do we begin?

Nathalie: Idk. You're the one with the remote! Wait, should we explain the remote?

Haley: Sure…

Nathalie: The remote poofs characters in, and poofs in the stuff for dares.

Haley: By the way… We're in a room with no windows, doors, and food. We poof in everything we need.

Nathalie: Are we done explaining? I wanna get to the funnies! Mama NEEDS her funnies!

Haley: Ok then. TO THE FUNNIES!!!!!!!! *pushes a button and Chowder falls in through the ceiling*

Chowder: Ow! What was that for?!

Nathalie: *stares at Chowder while smiling hugely*

Chowder: Uh… Is she ok…?

Haley: I ask myself that question every day.

Nathalie: I know you from the future…

Chowder: Back away slowly… It always works… *starts to back away very slowly*

Haley: Nathalie! Stop freaking Chowder out!

Chowder: Yea! What hippy lady said!

Nathalie: Dude… Your gonna get it… *grabs some popcorn*

Haley: *mumbles to herself* Why you little…

Chowder: *gulps* I'm scared…

Haley: *pushes a button and Panini falls in*

Panini: Hi num-nums!

Chowder: I'm not your boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!! *trys to run but runs into wall*

Nathalie: So worth the popcorn!

Haley: *pushes a button and Panini disappears*

Nathalie: Aaaw… I wanted to see her kiss Chowder…

Chowder: Never!!!! Talk to the hand girlfriend! *slaps Nathalie*

Nathalie: Ow!

*Mung falls in*

Mung: Power to the booty! *slaps his butt*

Chowder: *screams* Oh, hi Mung! *slaps Mung* I'm still mad at you.

Mung: For what?!

Chowder: For being you!

Nathalie: Haley… Did you poof Mung in…?

Haley: I thought you did…

*everyone is scared*

Haley: RUN!!!!! *runs into wall several times*

Nathalie: Holy crap! Are you ok?!

Haley: Yea, I'm fine.

*Mung all of a sudden disappears*

Chowder: *screams* This is a NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: I know! Lets end the chapter!

Haley: *still screaming* See you next time!

Chowder: Remember to send in dares!

Nathalie: END IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley: Peace out!


	2. Chapter 2

**Never Ask Chowder part 2**

Haley: Welcome back! Now, we got about 5 reviews, so this might be long. MIGHT be long.

Nathalie: People wanted Chowder to strip.

Haley: You people are sick!

Nathalie: We're just kidding.

Haley: Yea, I mean, who would want to see _Chowder_ naked!?

Nathalie: Stalkers, perves.

Haley: Good point.

Nathalie: Now, let's get to the dares!

Haley: First we have a dare from xSecret-Magicx.

Nathalie: And her dare is…

_I dare Chowder to dress in a bikini and break-dance while Jim does push-ups in a freshly used toilet._

Haley: Now, if you don't remember who Jim is, he is the grape worm.

Nathalie: Now we shall have Chowder fall through the ceiling.

*Haley pushes a button and Chowder falls through a vortex in the ceiling*

Nathalie: Vortex your idea?

Haley: Yup! *smiles*

Chowder: Ow! Why do I have to fall? Why not Panini?!

Nathalie: Cause your funnier.

Haley: Yup!

Chowder: Well, what do you do when you get a review?

Haley: Lil' Nathalie Poo-poo Kinz pops in through a vortex on the floor and yells 'Chicken-Wing!'

Nathalie: Its funnier than it seems.

Chowder: Well, anyway, what was the first dare.

Nathalie: Have you dress in a bikini while break-dancing and Jim does push-ups in a freshly used toilet.

Chowder: *trieds to run* YOU'LL NEVER GET ME TO DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: Dude, you can't run. You gotta do it.

Haley: Yup yup! *smiles*

Chowder: Fine… *grabs Jim and puts on a bikini and starts to break-dance*

Jim: No way ninja hands! I'm not going in that! Chowder took a poo in there!

Nathalie: Too bad! *shoves Jim in toilet*

Jim: *starts to do push-ups* This is torture ninja hands!

*Haley and Nathalie laugh like crazy*

Haley: *trys to stop laughing* O-ok! We need to get to the reviews. Btw people, we got a new sound for when we get reviews. So stay alive!

**CHICKEN WING!!!**

Nathalie: Looks like we have a review! It's from **Bumblebee**. She wrote…

**This was totally ridiculous, you really should work on this.**

Jim: That's so not cool Bumblebee! Haley, you can do so much better without her! I can tell by her eyes!

Haley: You've never met her!

Nathalie: Or has he?!

Chowder: Bum-bum-**BUM**!!!!

Haley: She was really mean. I don't even think she read this story!

Nathalie: You got that right!

Chowder: Anyway… What do we do now?

**CHICKEN WING!!!**

Haley: Read the dare I guess.

Nathalie: This review is from **Sarrowsnow**. And she wrote…

**Hobo, what should my dare be? Hm… Chowder, you have to spend one FULL hour holding Panini's hand.**

Nathalie: Oh yea! *grabs popcorn*

Chowder: *trys to run* NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley: *pushes button and Panini falls in*

Panini: What happened? What's the dare?

Haley: You have to hold Chowder's hand for an hour.

Panini: *almost explodes of happiness* YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley: If you do it, you get ultimate thrice cream!

Nathalie: This is good stuff! *stuffs face with pop corn*

Chowder: Fine! I'll do it for the thrice cream! *hand wobbles toward Panini's*

Panini: His hands are sweaty but I don't care! *has big smile*

Chowder: AAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: *laughs like crazy while rolling on the floor*

Haley: I love this show!

**ONE HOUR LATER**

Haley: Ok Chowder, you can stop now. Here you go. *hands him thrice cream*

Chowder: *runs from Panini and stuffs face with thrice cream*

Panini: Aww… *frowns*

Nathalie: Can we get onto the next dare?

Haley: Idk! We haven't gotten it yet!

Panini: Then how do you know you got 5 reviews?

Nathalie: She's a fortune teller! What'd you think she was?

Chowder: A mermaid! No, no, wait! Um, uh… A dragon!

Nathalie: What? You crazy! _Obviously_ she's a pixie!

Haley: Shut up will ya'?

Panini: Never!

Haley: *pushes button and Panini disappears* Much better.

**CHICKEN WING!!!**

Nathalie: Finally! Now this dare is from **pinkluver93**. And it says…

**I dare Chowder to fast for three whole days. Ya know, not eat one single thing, not even your clothes, people, not one single item, object, or anything that is around you. And I dare Mung to look at guys instead of girls lol!**

Chowder: *looks terrified* Why do people hate me?!!!

Haley: Idk, all I know is, its gonna be a funny three days! *has huge grin*

Nathalie: Oh yea… *has the same evil grin*

Haley: *pushes a button and Nathalie and her disappear only leaving behind a hidden camera to video-tape Chowder*

Chowder: **THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** *runs into the walls screaming and doesn't stop for two whole days* Ugh… I'm. So. HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!! *moans for another day*

*Haley and Nathalie poof back in*

Nathalie: Get some food in him stat!

Haley: *poofs up five buffets*

Chowder: FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dives into the food and its gone in three minutes*

Nathalie: Holy fricken crap. He is fast.

Haley: Anyway… The dare isn't over yet. Mung still has to stare at guys.

Nathalie: Oh yea… WOO!!!!!!!!!

Chowder: Truffles gonna kill him.

*Mung poofs in*

Mung: Hey ladies! *stares at Haley and Nathalie* Can one of you tell me one of the dares?

Haley: You can't stare at girls.

Mung: OH THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: Wait! It gets worse! *smiles evil smile*

Mung: Oh crap…

Haley: You gotta stare at guys.

Mung: THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley: *poofs everyone into the center of Marzipan City*

Nathalie: Ok Mung, start staring!

Mung: *starts to stare and follow guys for five hours*

Chowder: This is getting boring… *complains* I wanna go home!

Haley: Ok, you're right. *poofs everyone back to the room*

Mung: That was the best time I've ever had! *smiles* I like staring at guys more than girls!

Nathalie: Oh man! We messed up Mung!

Chowder: Its ok, Truffles will fix him.

Haley: True-dat'

**CHICKEN WING!!!**

Nathalie: Finally! The last dare.

Chowder: This is from **Elegon714**. It said…

**I dare chowder to let Panini kiss him!**

I also dare Mung, to be nice to Endive for an entire episode!

I also dare Shnitzel to talk normally, without saying Radda Radda!

Haley: *sighs* Chowder, you in?

Chowder: Fine…

Nathalie: *poofs Panini in* Panini, kiss Chowder so we can get this chapter over with!

Panini: Ok! *smiles and kisses Chowder (on the lips!)*

Chowder: *screams* IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley: Ok Panini, you're done here. *poofs her away*

Nathalie: NEXT!!!!!!!

Chowder: *poofs in Endive and Mung*

Haley: Why does everyone keep touching my remote?! Its MINE!!!

Mung: How should we kn- OH MY LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is Endive doing here?!!

Nathalie: You gotta be nice to her for an entire episode. Well, the rest of the chapter anyway.

Endive: I'm going to enjoy this!

Mung: Endive… *murmurs*

Endive: What's that Mungy?

Mung: You're… *tries not to barf* You're… PRETTY!!!!!!!!!

Endive: I didn't think he could actually pull that off. Good work Mung Daal!

Chowder: POOF IN SHNITZEL ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: Haley! Hurry! We need to end this!!

Haley: OK!!!!! *poofs in Shnitzel with a collar around his neck*

Endive: What is that repulsive contraption?!

Mung: You rock Endive!

Haley: It's a Shnitzel translator. When we turn it on, Shnitzel won't say 'radda raada' anymore.

Chowder: Lets turn this on!

Nathalie: *pushes the button* There. Happy?

Endive: No we're not!

Mung: **I LOVE YOU ENDIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** *kisses her*

Shnitzel: _**Ooh… That's just nasty! Wait, woa! It really works!**_

Nathalie: Duh!

Chowder: Truffles isn't gonna be happy.

Haley: No she is not.

Shnitzel: _**Why do I hear foot-steps? I think its Truffles!**_

Nathalie: Oh crap! Stop them!

*Mung and Endive continue to make-out*

Truffles: *calls from next room: "What's going on in there?!!"*

Shnitzel: _**I say we end this chapter now! NOW!!!!!!!!**_

Chowder: I agree!

Nathalie: Me three!

Haley: See you next time BYE!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Haley and Nathalie: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chowder: *comes walking in with the Halloween candy* Whats up?

Haley: Chowder! Don't eat the Halloween candy! That's for the kids!

Nathalie: Now we gotta buy more!

Chowder: This isn't Halloween candy…

Haley: Then what is it…?

Chowder: BRAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *turns into zombie*

Nathalie: Brains you say? Must. Have. BRAINS!!!!!!!!! *turns into zombie too*

*Chowder and Nathalie are going toward Haley looking very hungry*

Haley: AAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No no! Get away!

Nathalie: Haley! Haley! Wake up! Wake up!

Haley: *screams and opens eyes*

Chowder: That's what happens when you eat candy before bed.

Haley: Th-that was a dream?

Nathalie: Depends, what was your dream?

Haley: You and Chowder turned into zombies and tried to eat my brain.

Chowder: The same thing happened to me and Nathalie!

Nathalie: And by 'same thing' he means, zombies are in the basement.

Haley: **NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Nathalie: It's ok actually, they don't bite. Ok fine, they do. *zombie comes up and bite Nathalie on the arm*

Chowder: They're too stupid to know where the brain is.

Haley: Ok… let's get to the dares, fast!

Chowder: The first ones from **Sorrowsnow**. And they wrote…

**^^ I really love this. My dare this time goes out to Gorganzola. Gorganzola you have to insult yourself instead of Chowder for one full chapter. I still like you though Gorganzola.**

Nathalie: Nice! That'll torture him!

Chowder: Yea! Hello self-e-steam!

*Haley Poofs in Gorganzola*

Gorganzola: What the?! Why didn't I hear the 'chicken wing' tone I hear when you get a review?

Chowder: The power doesn't work. Didn't you notice we're using candles?

Nathalie: I thought that was a Halloween decoration!

Haley: Well, its not. The power isn't working for some reason and I can't figure out why.

Gorganzola: I bet it was dumb-ol' Chowder's fault!

Nathalie: NOT SO FAST GORGANZOLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gorganzola: What I do?!!!

Haley: Your not s'pose to insult Chowder for this whole episode! *smiles*

Gorganzola: **OH THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Nathalie: Wait, it gets worse! *has the biggest grin*

*Gorganzola has wide eyes*

Chowder: You have to insult yourself! *laughs*

Gorganzola: I'M A BUTTFACE!!!!!!!!! I SUCK EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE HATES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *struggles*

Haley: HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: What?!!!!

Chowder: OH WHAT IS _**THAT?!!!!**_

Gorganzola: What?!!!

Haley: A MUTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chowder: **RUN!!!!!!!!!**

*everyone tries to run but they end up bumping into walls (we tend to be very stupid)*

Nathalie: Crap! No exit!

Gorganzola: *crying and screaming his head off* WE'RE DOOOMED!!!!!

Haley: IT'S COMING!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO WE DO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Chowder: Eat it! *chews on the demons arm*

Demon: RAAAW!!!!!!!!! *screams in pain*

Chowder: EEEW!!!!!!!!!!! *spits out taste* TASTES LIKE DEAD BODY!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: Wait a minute… Where'd Gorganzola go…?

Chowder: I thought he was with you…

Haley: OMG!!!!!!!!! *points to demon rolling on the floor eating Gorganzola*

Demon: RAAAW!!!!!!!!!! *makes disgusting slobbery noises*

Chowder: OH GORGANZOLA!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATED YOU, BUT YOUR NOT AS BAD AS PANINI!!!!!!!!! I MISS YOU MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: OMG!!!!!!! IT'S EATING PANINI TOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley: Not just her! But Gazpacho, Mung, Shnitzel, Truffles, and Endive!!!!

Demon: RAAAW!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAAAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **RAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Chowder: Oh the horror!!

Nathalie: Isn't it getting sick?!!!

*demon pukes up everyone and they disappear*

Demon: Ugh… That was just sick! You ever had one of those days? Where you completely ate everyone?

Chowder: Totally! Wait- IT TALKS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

_Dear reader,_

_ I know __this story wasn't up on Halloween. I forgot to post it on Halloween, so I'm posting it now. Btw, don't blame me that its up late!_


	4. Chapter 4

Haley: Ok, before this chapter totally starts, we have some announcements.

Chowder: First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley: Well, almost Christmas.

Nathalie: Second, you MUST read **Ask Fisk**, a story made by Haley!

Chowder: Woo! Oh yea! Rock it baby!

Haley: Um, Chowder? Its just a story.

Nathalie: Yea, Oh, and her story called **The One**

Chowder: That doesn't _sound_ like a Secret Saturdays story.

Haley: The character Kyle looks like Zak. There are some cryptids I made up in the story.

Nathalie: Yea, she made cool f-

Haley: Don't ruin it!

Nathalie: Sorry.

Chowder: Can we get to the dares now?

Haley: Sure. The first one is from **Lani99**. She said…

**OMG! XD D D this is so LMAO!  
I dare everyone to put up with Chowder singing Barbie Girl by Aqua! *lmao***

Nathalie: Nice one Lani99! This'll be the best chapter yet!

Haley: I'll poof everyone in. *Poofs in Endive, Mung, Truffles, Shnitzel, Gorganzola, Gazpacho, and Panini*

Panini: HI NUM NUMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chowder: I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Panini: Oh num nums, your so funny! *Giggles and hugs Chowder*

Chowder: BACK YOU FOUL DEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Pushes Panini away*

Gorganzola: Ugh, why are we all here?

Nathalie: You have to put up with Chowder singing the Barbie girl song.

Haley: Take it away Chowder! *Gives Chowder his cue*

Chowder: I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie world! Life is plastic! Its fantastic!

Mung: AAAH!!!!!!!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shnitzel: RAAADAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Truffles: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gorganzola: I CANT HEAR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT HEAR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gazpacho: Rock it little buddy!

Panini: Go num nums! *Claps*

Endive: *Sleeping*

Chowder: YOU SEE ME MOWING, MY FRONT LAWN.

Haley: That's not Barbie girl!

Chowder: I already sang what I know!

Nathalie: Ugh, then everybody can leave. *Pushes button on the remote control and everybody disappears*

Haley: Next dare. From **Sorrowsnow**. And it said…

**Holy crap. A mutant. XD Sorry Gorganzola, I couldn't resist daring you. Now, Truffles, you need to keep quiet for the episode, no hurting Mung, no yelling at Shintzel, or anything.**

Chowder: *Poofs Truffles in* We poofed you out for nothing. Anyway, you gotta keep quiet.

Truffles: *Struggles to scream at Chowder*

Nathalie: To the next! Hurry, I don't want this to be a long chapter! I mean, really, its AFTER Christmas by the time we publish this!

Haley: Ok, next ones from **Kapuchino357**. And they said…

**Ok, ok, I've got something!  
Truffles, akt like a nice lil old lady (you are a lil old lady but your not verry nice, though I do like you!)  
Panini! You. Smack. Endive. Whit. A Frying-pan. Over. The. Head! And you do it good!  
Ceviche, I want you to be a lot more energetic than you are for an entire chapter! I mean c'mon dude, be a lil hiper for Pete's sake! You're a goat, right?  
Chu!~**

Nathalie: Ok, sorry, but we cant do the Truffles one. But we will do the others. Poof em' in.

Chowder: *Poofs em' in*

Haley: Panini, hit Endive with this and make it quick. We're tired. *Hands Panini a frying pan*

Panini: *Shrugs* Ok. *Smacks Endive so hard she dies*

Chowder: O.o OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: No one revive her!

Truffles: *Trys not to burst out laughing*

Haley: Uh… she'll be back alive the next time we have her in a chapter. Ceviche, quick! Get energetic!

Ceviche: Ok. WEEHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WATCHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nathalie: Ok then. The next one is from **artyfowl1zaksat**. And they said…

**wel... i dont see why not but DARE: every one has to hug, kiss and be friends with their enemies (boys and girls) but does not have to be lips. but not in th ehand either. antwhere else fine and could be lips. ok :p**

Haley: That's a good dare. But to make it fun, we make it lips. Ok, Chowder with Panini, Mung with Endive, Shnitzel with Truffles, Ceviche with Gorganzola. MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Everyone kisses and starts barfing madly*

Nathalie: Gross! This is a good time to end.

Haley: Yea… bye!

_**Dear Reader,**_

_** I know this is a Chritsmas one, but sadly I had to post it after Christmas cause' I was busy. I was too tired to make it any longer or funnier and I'm sorry but I will make the next one funnier. And I want you to check out my other stories. Mostly just my new Chowder and Secret Saturdays ones. 'Chowder and Panini: Together at Last' and 'Saturdays, Meet Sophia Rosefire'. They are really good so far, and I really want people to read them. And please tell your friends. Ok, bye.**_


End file.
